It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whipping up a dessert to donate for a fundraiser should be a fun experience, but like every creative endeavor, I end up being too hard on myself, cooking the joy out of baking.
A few months back, Amber Armstrong, our office manager, asked if I wanted to donate a dessert of my making to a chamber of commerce event. I responded that I’d be happy to before I had a chance to think it through. Would I have the time? What would I make? Why me?
Oh, yeah. I bake all manner of desserts and then share them with everyone, that’s why.
It started when I was about 7 years old. My mom baked and cooked all the time. At family gatherings, she felt it was her duty to make everyone their favorite pie. She made apple, cherry, banana cream, chocolate, lemon meringue, pumpkin and any others that were desired. Even if there were only a few people coming over, she still baked at least five pies. I knew at that early age that I wanted to bake.
When I was 8, I asked for an Easy-Bake Oven for Christmas. For the uninitiated, an Easy-Bake Oven is a small oven that’s heated with a light bulb. It comes with a few cake mixes and small pans slightly bigger than the size of a large cupcake.
There was no argument from my parents about getting their son a “girl’s” gift.
It’s still one of my most vivid memories: The Easy-Bake sat on the kitchen table, light bulb heating up the oven. I mixed the powder from the packet with some water and poured it into the little pan. I slid it into one side of the device and waited. Minutes later, I fished the finished cake from the compartment. Right then, the light bulb burned out. My dad promised to replace it. He never did.
Years later, every time I bake something, I remember the short-lived Easy-Bake experience. Preparing a cake for the chamber dinner dessert auction was no different.
I chose an Earl Grey cake recipe a friend had sent me. I decided to make a tester cake a week before the dinner to make sure it was tasty enough. I substituted maple extract for vanilla. I used a lemon filling for the center of the cake. Sprinkles were involved.
Once the tester had cooled enough, I gave it a taste. I had never eaten a more delicious cake in all my life. It was definitely a winner on that front. Since the original frosting recipe called for lavender, which I opted not to use, I decided to color the butter cream frosting a light purple. Others who tried it loved it. That cemented it.
Speaking of cement …
The day came to bake the cake for auction. Everything was going well until I pulled the two layers from the oven. They weren’t done. Back in they went. It took far longer to bake than the tester. When I finally deemed them done, there were still underdone bits. It would have to do. I was facing a deadline.
As I prepared the frosting, it wasn’t setting up. It was runnier than pancake batter. I put it in the fridge to help set it. That worked. When the cake was sufficiently cooled, I began shaping it, preparing it for the frosting. It began to crumble. Then it wasn’t level. Then it wasn’t completely round. Fine, I thought, I’ll make it a square cake.
Geometry never was my strong suit, the square was more like a 3-D trapezoid. I would shape it with frosting, I thought. The more I shaped it, the more misshapen it looked. I tried all the tricks my mom had taught me.
I ended up with what looked like a small cement block. With sprinkles. The more the frosting dried, the more it looked like cement.
I was convinced nobody would want this travesty, especially when it was placed next to beautiful apple pies, layered chocolate masterpieces and a multi-tiered cinnamon bun cake that Sweet Tides expertly executed.
Throughout the evening, people bid on all the desserts, some fetching $35 or $50. The cinnamon bun cake landed a whopping $325. When it came time to bid on the cement block, I was resigned to taking it home. But the first bid came for $25. Yes, it was from my wife, but I’d be happy with anything at that point.
Others began bidding.
Brittani Robbins, the chamber’s executive director, was one of the people who had tried the tester. She spurred on the crowd, giving her review of the cake. The final bid came in moments later at $200, the second highest of the night.
I decided not to give up baking after all.
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